Retro Game Review: Who Wore it Better? Kirby vs Dr Ivo Robotnik

When I decided to do this review, I did some research trying to figure out what Puyo Puyo translated to in English, my native tongue. I had a LOT of trouble finding a direct translation. Some folk say it means the number two, or an onomatopoeia for kiss similar to how we would say “smack”. And someone else seemed to think that it was a word that was difficult to translate, that has to do with a cute little hair curl or the part of the hair- as in where you can see the scalp because you parted it. The only real consensus that I could gather was that the title was meant to be cute.

Which is not really applicable to this game because this is some hardcore puzzle game reflex pounding action. Now, one can argue that the characters in the original game, and the Kirby localization, are cute, borderline adorable. I love the little orange guy, who I will forever think of as the mean bean, because that's how he was listed in the Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine manual. He was so cute, in fact, that as a child I would often get distracted by him, and mess up on the actual game- because seriously this thing is fast paced. It fits right in as a Sonic game.

Now, for those of you who don't know, the Puyo Puyo series is a puzzle game created by the development team Compile in the early 1990s. Much like Doki Doki Panic, the localization team decided that western gamers wouldn't be open to the title on it's own, as it was considered too Japanese to translate directly. So they decided to use familiar, recognizable characters to appeal to a wider market. Therefore, it was given a cosmetic makeover and released as Kirby's Avalanche for SNES, and Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine for Sega Genesis/Master System. Now, Compile would later become Sonic Team, so many fans believe Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine is a more direct translation. However, having played both games, I've come to the conclusion that they are the same game, as both are ports, with nothing separating them except for cosmetic differences.

The basic premise of the game is simple. Two connected “beans” fall from the sky, and the player must line them up by color. Four “beans” of the same color will disappear. The goal is to clear your screen while filling the screen of your opponent. Like all great games, the gameplay, mechanics, and concept are simple, but the execution is extremely difficult. You'll quickly find yourself unable to keep up unless you posses the lightning fast reflexes that are far more common for a Sonic fan than a Kirby fan.

Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean machine is unique among the Sonic Franchise, as it seems to have very little to do with Sonic. It's somewhat implied that the protagonist is Sonic, but it's never outright stated, and as far as I know, his sprite never appears in the game. It's also strange because it seems to have some commonalities with the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog TV show (not the show I would consider to be much better written, Sonic SatAM). It has the character Scratch, for example, who, as far as I know, has never appeared in any video game other than this one. However, it does keep the little orange guy, who I love. Distracting though he may be.

Kirby's Avalanche, on the other hand, keeps the same characters as the other Kirby games, and the protagonist is directly stated to be Kirby. The sprites have all changed, and Kirby himself takes the place of the little orange Mean Bean. Playing this game, I always found it strange that Kirby spoke. And he as a bad attitude. He's super mean to his opponents, and that's not something I expect from Kirby. Having played the Kirby games, it's true that he's known to be a soul devouring cannibal, but he's also a BABY. As a star warrior he was put into a sort of stasis, and emerged when he was an infant. He's a silent protagonist, and one that is soaked in innocence. He never seems to really even be aware that he's fighting; he hunts and eats not because he's angry, but because that's how his copy ability works. I didn't like the liberties that the localization team took with the cut scenes. It just didn't seem to fit his character very well.

In conclusion, the gameplay is identical in both ports. But I have to agree with the popular consensus that says that the best localization was, in fact, Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine. I just felt that there was absolutely no need to make Kirby a trash-talking jerk in the cutscenes. It would have made more sense to leave him silent and let the antagonists insult him. It would give more incentive to beat them, and you NEED that incentive. In addition, the game's pace is just far closer to what a Sonic fan would be used to; it moves SO fast, especially in the later levels, and Kirby is more about exploration than speed. It was a strange character to pick for the localization. I feel like Sonic fans were just more prepared for the game.

Retro Game Review: Wario's Woods

Oh, Wario. Mario's cousin who isn't quite evil enough to be considered a villain, but who has a long-standing grudge against Mario. Today, he is perhaps best known for his minigame extravaganzas, but at one point he had a deep desire to become a game star in his own right. He had platformers, weird mouse-based games akin to Mario vs Donkey Kong, and my personal favorite: Puzzle games. When I was younger, I had an SNES, and Wario's Woods was one of my favorite games. Ever. Of all time. To this day, I would stay it's STILL my favorite puzzle game. It's stood the test of time, being rereleased as a wiiware title. However, as a child I had NO IDEA that this had been released on the NES at the same time it came out for SNES!

It was, in fact, one of the last games released for the NES, and the only one, to my knowledge, to receive an ESRB rating. The rating, for those who are curious, is “KA: Kids-Adults”, which would later become “E: Everyone”. In 1994, the NES was being phased out, so it's no surprise that I never knew this game existed. Thankfully, my robot overlords over at Google have alerted me to it's presence, and I spent all of last night making it through 100 levels of puzzlely goodness!

Now, if you haven't played Wario's Woods already, all you really need to know is that the plot, like most puzzle games, is nothing to write home about. There's a forrest in the Mushroom Kingdom that, as a child, I assumed was the Forrest of Illusions from Super Mario World, but is actually called the “Peaceful Woods”. Wario took over this place; the game doesn't say how, so maybe he bought up the land, maybe he was just a squatter, the world will never know. But he hollowed out all the trees and filled them with monsters, which you must kill with bombs. So... like I said. Nothing to write home about. BUT GOOD GOD IS IT FUN!

Toad, the head of the Mushroom Retainers, Princess Peach Toadstool's personal guards, is called upon to solve this monster infestation. He only wears a vest and those puffy pants, so he brings along his friend Wanda, a fairy that I've never seen since in a Nintendo title, who's going to supply him with bombs, and Catherine, more commonly known as Birdo, to keep an eye out for Mario. I love Birdo, just as an aside. And I think that this game went a long way toward segmenting that love for her in my brain.

NES/SNES Differences

Unfortunately, the sound takes a huge hit on the NES. In the SNES, there's a variety of things that Birdo will say depending on how well you play, like “Cool!” or “breakfast!”. I tried to line up so many combos that her sound clip couldn't play all the way through before starting over so she'd go, “Co-co-co-cool!”. In the nes, you don't get any of that. There's no room for voice acting, and the sound chip can't take it, so you just get little nes sounds. Dings and pings are a poor substitute if you're already used to the voice clips. It probably wouldn't bother me so much if I hadn't played and loved the SNES first. But because I had, the absence was really noticeable. And the sounds are indicators that your combos have bought you more time, so I wasn't sure whether or not the extra time had registered. But again, that's mostly because I was used to the voice clips, and not because the dings didn't do their job.

Now obviously, the 8bit graphics have nothing on the SNES. With it's multiple layers and it's 32,000+ colors it's obviously going to be prettier, so the nes probably shouldn't be judged on it's inability to display images with the same beauty as it's successor. But some of the issues with graphics make little sense to me, even taking that into account. For example, Wanda looks more like a fairy in her NES, lower pixel sprite than she does in the snes. So that's weird. And Wario himself has his colors inverted; his hat and shirt are plumb and his overalls are yellow. I don't see why limiting colors would cause that.

But the worst thing about this game; what killed me over and over; the thing I absolutely could not deal with- is an issue with the nes controller itself. In the snes game, you can sit down a monster or bomb, and then kick it across the screen. If it hits a row in which it would explode, it explodes. If you are trapped against a column and a wall, you can kick your way out. The button that performs the kick is the Y button. Which does not exist on the nes controller. I would say that this easily doubles the difficulty.

All in all, you can sew why this game is my favorite puzzle game ever, but if you had to choose only one version, play it on the SNES. If you're willing to play both, it's definitely worth a nes playthrough, but be prepared for the added difficulty.