How Scholastic is Trying to Ruin Your Kids's Childhood

This article is set to tie in very closely with the one I wrote yesterday- or this morning...  I don't really sleep, and I'm on my second cup of coffee since 2am, working on my web comic- I need to find a scanner that works, my uncle's is on the fritz.  Anyway, remember how I said that the subculture is dieing?  And how we need to keep it alive for the sake of the children- WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!  Well, here's a piece of your childhood that Scholastic just decided to shit all over.

You love Steve Gammel. I don't care if you think you've never heard of him- you love him and worship him like the nightmare god he is on a daily basis- every time you think of the artist that influenced your childhood, this is the man that you are thinking of. Because he was the man who illustrated the book that inspired you to enjoy your life, because sometimes, life could scare the absolute shit out of you.


This is the man who illustrated the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark series.  His watercolors were both breathtaking and horrifying, and the only reason that these books were so immensely popular.  It's not that I dislike Schwart's writing, nothing could be farther from the truth, but the fact remains that the stories were really only collections of American Folk Tales; stories that were published by a dozen authors in a dozen books- the like of Wait Till Martin Comes and Oh Susanna, but these iconic images could be found in only 2 sources- the Scary Stories series, and children's nightmares.

As the image on the left illustrates, the images don't even have to have a DAMN THING to do with the story, this pic, I always thought was what Suzy was dreaming while her roommate was being murdered, though there's absolutely no evidence for that apart from my own mind and the inclinations it has toward trying to tie shit together because it's got control issues.  But my insanity aside, you all know that you picked those books because of the amazing illustrations.

 So with the 30 year anniversary, obviously, the publisher's going to do something amazing, right?  A new box set complete with audio books and a Gammel Hardcover art book with new and original illustrations from the past 30 years or somesuch.  Something amazing like that that would put Der Mond to shame- something that commerates an artist who gave us 30 years- longer then some of us have been alive- of amazing artwork, changing our childhoods and teaching that art is more then just bright colors and linework- that it can be a window into the very soul, whether that soul is charming or dark.  Or both.  The fact that both can coexist.

I know that at this point, you're going to be expecting a link to this new set, just for the artbook.  You're willing to spend the $50 or whatever they're asking, just to see those new prints.  And I would gladly provide such a link- if one existed.  However, what the good people at the Harper Collins publishing company have decided to do is down a significantly darker path.  They've chosen to shit all over your childhood.  Not only are they replacing every singe Gammel work in the new edition, they're discontinuing the editions that have the artist you've grown to love.  And who have they chosen to replace Gammel?  Why Brett Helquist, whom you may remember as the illustrator of Bunnicula.  Give it a second to sink in.  Read it twice if you had to.  Understand that you read that correctly, the publishing company behind the Scary Stories series thought that the guy from Bunnicula would make a better artist then Gammel.

What

the

fuck?


Alright, now that that's sunk in, we can imagine that there must be a reason for this change.  This man must have amazing skills that he just, until now, has not had an opportunity to showcase.  So, let's compare a few of his illustrations with those of Gammel.  First off, a strait comparison.

Everyone remembers Harold, the story of the renegade scarecrow that comes to life and flays himself a couple of farmboys.  Alright, so here, we have the original.

That motherfucker is certainly capable of ripping off your skin and laying it to dry on the roof because you pissed him right off.

Is it just me- that's certainly a possibility- or does this guy looks like he could break into the chorus of If I Only Had a Brain at any second?

Both are strait on portraits of the character- both are in black & white, but still I see no comparison.  Perhaps this is just a bad example.

What about the story of The Walk?  That one that ends with the pants-shitting scream that's meant to be read aloud?  You know the one about how your uncle was walking alone in the woods at night, and so was another man he had never met?  And the man was scared of your uncle, and your uncle was scared of the man?  That entire story is about mystery, and the fright that comes from the unknown.  Gammel chose to illustrate this principle, with 2 shadowy figures in a nondescript wooded setting.

Lets see what Helquist chose to do-

Hmm...  2 men walking, both obviously Victorian-era white guys, and therefore, not at all everyone's uncle- or anyone's uncle, unless you have an uncle who is old as fucking hell.  Also, neither one of them looks particularly scared, the one in the background, the brunette (and therefore, most likely to be my uncle, I guess...) looks rather annoyed, but not at all scared, and the one in front looks downright pissed that the other guy is looking at him.  I don't know that Helquist somuchas knows what fear is.  He seems to be confusing fear and anger.

So...  if anyone knows where I can download an e-book of the originals, as Amazon is no longer selling them, I would be much obliged.