OK...  so I've gotten addicted to Tumblr.

http://takocos.tumblr.com

Just throwing that out there.

The Lorax

So, everyone loves Dr Seuss.  And much like how everyone has their favorite Ninja Turtle, everyone has their favorite Dr. Seuss book.  Mine was the Lorax- and this most likely shocks no one, as green as I am and whatnot.  I had a giant "Six by Seuss" book, and the Lorax was in it, then I had another strait-up Lorax book.  I loved them.  I read them far past the age where one would normally read Dr. Seuss.  I had the cartoon, the one that was made, I think, in the 70s, and I watched it until those little grey lines started popping up and destroying it.  I didn't much care for the Lorax's voice in the cartoon- it was to whiny.  I never saw him as someone who was just bitching at you, but as a strait-up threatening kind of warning.  But nonetheless, I loved that cartoon, and I loved that book.

So, I recently watched the new movie, and fell in love all over again.  There's not a character in the book that I didn't love, the Lorax, the cute little Barbaloots, the Swammy Swamns, the Humming Fish, and the Once-ler.  I actually liked the Once-ler because he was one of the few villains that figured out he fucked up.  True, he didn't figure it out quick enough, but at least there was some character growth there.

And I really like that the Once-Ler is given a more human identity in the movie. I know that Geisel left him purposefully ambiguous, but for the various folk all over the internet who keep insisting he's supposed to be a monster- that's simply not true.  Once-Ler is his name, not his species, and this is made clear, I believe in the line where he's kicking the Lorax out.

"Trees?  Trees?  You speak for the trees?  Well, I speak for men, and humanity's needs."  The Once-ler is now, and always has been, HUMAN.  His appearance in the book is not kept ambiguous in because he's a monster, but because it's supposed to allow everyone who reads it to see themselves reflected in him.  It's a story of how human greed blinds him to the plight of the ecosystem he destroys, which was a major problem at the time, and continues to be a major problem today.  It's a social commentary, which may be why it was my favorite book.  Seuss has said that he disliked how most books on the market treated  children like idiots.  He was a firm believer that kids could understand complex ideas, just as long as they were told with vocabulary that they could understand well enough to read on their own.  There are a lot of his books that teach lessons like this (Yurtle cost himself to, remember?  The douchebag turtle?) and that's one of the reasons that he's still beloved, and still relivent today.  Yes, these things were often silly and nonsensical, but they were, by their own logic, real.

So, I loved the actors. This Lorax, DeVito, sounded a lot more like the Lorax did in my head.  Like if you didn't get the hell out of his forest, he was gonna fuck your shit right up.  Not like he was begging you, but like he was warning you.  There were a couple really good songs- How Bad Can I Be is particularly catchy- I've still got the damn thing in my head, had to add it to my youtube playlist and re-listen to it to get it out.  The 3D was pretty good, but not right-over-the-top.  All in all, a really good re-telling of the classic tale.  Stuck as close to the book as you could imagine given that it had to be stretched to movie length, and actually much closer then some other Hollywood interpretations of classic Seuss tales. I was particularly glad that they decided not to go live-action on this one.  I think that the art style was much better for Lorax then live-action would have been.  All in all, an awesome experience.  And I had high hopes, like I said, it was my favorite Seuss book.  But I think you would like it even if it weren't already a favorite.  It's just a good movie.  It's just a good story.

Shirt Design

So... my favorite Dr. Seuss book is the Lorax, and as you all know, a new movie recently came out.  I instantly fell in love with it as well, and I got really bored today, so I decided to make a design tribute to the Thneed company- you know, the evil corporation owned by the Once-Ler that destroys the Truffila forest and makes the land uninhabitable for all the critters there.

I've been thinking about knitting me a thneed, but it looks like it would take absolutely forever and then be retarded after you make it.  I'd say that they really do all the things that the book says they do, but all those things are kinda stupid.

Actually, I just re-read it, most of those things are pretty useful. 

• Shirt
• a sock
• a large glove
• A hat
• Carpet
• Pillow
• Sheet
• curtains
• Covers For Bicycle Seats
• Hammock
• Toothbrush Holder
• Nest For Your Canary
• Thneed Soup That Cures Backache Pain And Chest (how this is possible is unknown)
• Makes A Perfect Windsheild Wiper
• Groom Your Hair When It Gets Mussed

• a sweater

• an umbrella
• towel
• Pants
• Blindfold
• Shoes
• Swimsuit
• Sponge
• Scarf
• Tight rope
• Butterfly net
• Thing for exercise 

I can actually see how most of those things work if the arm/leg thing is detachable, like with buttons or something.  It gives you a million versatile ways to wear it.

Hmm...  this post was basically an ad for my new pic, so I'll do a review of the movie later.

Heroes in a Half-Shell

So, when you were little, what was your favorite show?  Some folk liked Care Bears, some folk liked Thundercats, and some folk, like me, liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  I owned a red bandanna, I painted my face green, I made shells out of cardboard, and I pretended that I knew ninjitzu by just jumping around and smashing things.  I owned every cartoon, movie, comic, poster, I bought every toy I could find.  Everyone had a favorite turtle, and as you can see by the pic I drew to the left there, mine was Raphael.

Raph was, in all honesty, the only ninja in the group.  Leo was more of a samuri then a ninja, Donnie would have been happy never going into combat, just being a tech guy, and Mikey...  look, we all know that Mike was just doing the martial arts thing to make his dad happy.  Mike has no ambition and would have sat on his ass watching TV and playing Turtles in Time all damn day.  He put in the minimal amount of effort required to keep Splinter from getting all dissapointed in him.  Raph looked out for him, or he would have been dead in half the battles he fought anyway.



Raphael reminds me of myself.  He doesn't take shit.  He strikes in the dark, swiftly and silently, like a real ninja.  He will put on a trench coat and go watch Critters, despite being a mutant turtle.  He hangs out with a Canadian badass in a hockey mask.  Raphael, without a doubt, is the best turtle.  You're welcome to your own opinion, but Raph will forever hold a special place in my heart.

So, imagine my surprise and delight when I read on NPR that a new turtle movie was coming out!!  The last movie, Turtles Forever, was fucking epic.  I kept waiting on it to suck, and it never did!  The story tied the various universes together seamlessly for fans- it was quite possibly the best crossover that I've ever seen in the history of all time.  It was amazing.  So I ask myself, where will they go from there?  There's a million comic storylines to explore.  We could see the multiverse fighting championships, which would look amazing with today's technological advancements in movie magic- we could get cyborg Donnie, or that time that Leo challenged Hiroko for leadership of the foot clan, and all the grunts backed down, because as Himato's child he totally has a right to do that.  We could revisit dimension X, an multidimensional battle in this day and age would look amazing!

Then I clicked on the article and actually read it.  I must say that...  it struck me as odd.  And I, obviously, am a fan who's ok with watching Vanilla Ice Dance his way through the ending of Turtles 2.  It takes a lot to strike me as odd.  See, the article said that in this edition, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would be neither teenagers, nor mutants, nor turtles.  They would, instead, be adult aliens.  For...  some reason.  I'm not sure why.  Michael Bay is directing, which, honestly, cannot be a good sign (ask any hardcore TF fan) and has been making all the press appearances, so...  I don't know exactly how much input he has script wise, but it seems to be disproportionate.  Where are Eastman and Laird?  Does anyone have a link so that I can see what they think about this radical change?  It could greatly influence my opinion, because right now, I'm viewing this movie with a lot of skepticism.  But I don't know if it's my overreaching cynicism, or if this is as... well, off as it sounds.

I'm going to reserve judgement until we see more from this.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

So, you all remember a few days ago when I wrote complaining about how the Scary Stories series decided to change artists for their 30th anniversary edition.  Gammel's work is amazing, yet now, cannot be purchased new anywhere on-line.  I looked at every retailer I could find, and discovered that HarperCollins has discontinued the editions that feature Gammel's work.  Therefore, in protest, I'm offering all the books for download.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones

Obamapocalypse

So I've been depressed for the last little bit, but I finally found something today to make me smile.  This campaign ad is AWESOME- if you're a democrat- I mean, if you're a republican it makes you look like you don't know the difference between an election and the rapture, but if you're a democrat, it's FUCKING EPIC!!!  It's got so many of my favorite features!

Loss of jobs in the creepy little arian kid department; which, I'm only assuming is a continuation of the trend that began with Sadoku and has been steadily continuing with other minorities getting our creepy little kid jobs, such as the creepy little boy from Lost, the creepy little boy from Heroes, and the creepy little girl who turns out to actually be a killer little person who's only PRETENDING to be a creepy little girl- can't remember the name of that movie, but anyway, you get my point.  To long have those Village of the Damned or Poltreguist kids taken all of our creepy kid jobs.  That shit is set to be phased out within the next 2 years, hopefully through some kind of creepy kid Affermitive Action law or some shit.

Look, if you know me in the really real world, this is something I have genuinely bitched about for years.  As a child, I really wanted to be a creepy kid.  I enjoyed, as many kids who grow up to be alterna-teens and then "goth" adults, the macabre, from, you know, things kids consider macabre like Are You Afraid of the Dark to reading the Complete Works of Edger Allen Poe in kindergarten (true story, Accelerated Reading bullshit) but there was a problem.  No one in their right mind would fear me.  The average frightening child looked like this:

Whereas I, looked like this

In my defense, the Little Mermaid was huge at the time.

The only kids who came anything close to looking like me, was I THINK, and I'm not for sure, that the creepy twins from The Shining were brunettes, but they were ok, because they were twins.  Were they not twins, they never would have gotten that role, it would have went to a blond, and YOU KNOW IT.  So anyway, yes, we're gaining ground, if this commercial can be considered correct.

My second favorite part of the commercial is the guy. He seems to be very confused as to how gas pumps works, or, he couldn't get his hands on a gun and intends to soak himself and then light a match.  The latter would be cool to watch, because anyone who's so lazy that having to drive a little less prompts suicide doesn't really need to be here anyway- he's just dragging the gene pool down.  And if he DOES think that it's going to kill him, then he'll be in for quite a shock when all that happens is he smells horrible.  There's no way to stop the smell.  Scrub all you want, you still smell like gas.  And you'll have to burn that outfit.  Look at him!!  I love this guy!  He's right up there with the propeller guy from Titanic as one of those deaths that you'll feel horrible laughing at, but you just can't stop yourself.  This poor dumbass!

So anyway, what will the president say when he sees this video?  Probably something along what the rest of the world said.

Something like...

Gwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Burkini

So, I've always been intriguing by Muslim women and their whole, "Fuck the beauty standard" thing.  That idea is intriguing, to be feminine, but to not give a shit how you look, because who the fuck do you have to impress?  western women like to feel beautiful, select clothes and make-up, shave, count calories, etc- and when you think about  it, that's time we could be spending curing cancer or whatever.  I'm not talking shira law bullshittery, I'm talking actual Muslim women who simply believe, as part of their moral code, that they got no one to impress, and if someone doesn't like it, they got a male bodyguard at all times to kick his ass so they don't get their hands dirty.  I can kind of get behind that.

But, I'm a true western woman, raised in the petticoat government, so the entire idea kind of goes against the cut of my gib, fucks up the grain and whatnot.  The idea that I would need a male bodyguard insults me, as it does many western women, because honestly, if I'm that scared, I'll pack a gun.  And I'm not modest.  It's just not my thing.

But that doesn't mean that I disrespect someone because it is their thing.  But it does raise a question- how do you go swimming?  If your goal is to cover everything, including your curves (many of these ladies are so modest that they won't wear anything form fitting even if it covers them head to toe) then that rules out even a swimsuit.  So I looked it up and found that many modest women simply don't swim.  Those that do, however, wear a swimsuit remniciant of the one that Sweeny Todd is wearing in By the Sea.  Those things are AWESOME.  I mean, they seriously are really pretty.

It's a swimsuit designed to be just as modest as a burka, and thus has been named the "burkini".  Some even have a veil that you can pull down if you don't want folk seeing your face for...  whatever reason.  I never did get that, you honestly think that you're so hot you don't want folk looking upon your beauty?  That's not bitchy at all...  but anyway- they look like minidresses and tights!  I would wear this sans hood, it's adorable.

I just wanted to let people know that these exist.  You can get them from http://www.burkini.com/